The Little Light

[Ruchi Vael'kyn]

Ruchi quickly ran over the dark, rough stones that led far below, to where most Drow rarely resided or ever set foot. She whipped her body effortlessly around the narrow caves and tunnels, taking sharp turns and cutting corners like a lithe predator ready to pounce. Pounce at who? Anyone.

A trace of arrogance played upon her lips. She was a cleric now, Loth's devoted cleric. Liking the sound of it, she smiled and licked her lips. Ruchi had gotten lost down here as a child once, nearly starving. It was during this involuntary fast that the Spider had spoken to her. Only a word, Khazra (Blood), but it was enough for Ruchi to learn the secret.

Blood.

Ruchi had given the Spider blood ever since. And, to be fair, Loth had heard her prayers in return. This made Ruchi offer more blood still. Including her own. But mostly, not her own. Not anymore.

Even Ruchi’s sister feared her, looking at her strangely, with curiosity, but mostly with dread.

Tonight, Ruchi was deep beneath Elashin. These tunnels and catacombs were seldom mentioned or even explored, unknown to most Drow. Ruchi came here to meet the invisible, to cross the threshold of the seen into the unseen. To pray. To crawl. Like a spider.

Ruchi knew the corners blindly. She knew where the tunnels narrowed, requiring her to squeeze her body through the tiniest openings. Yet, Ruchi didn’t slow. She ran as fast as she could. She kept casting rapidly:

In Lor

Even magical sight was insufficient down here, quickly ebbing away.

"Ulu’uss!" (Damnation), she muttered.

Ruchi glimpsed a small light in the distance. A candle? Thin and tiny. She squeezed her eyes open and shut. A mirage? An illusion? Was the Spider testing her? Ruchi quickened her pace.

Distracted, out of the corner of her eye, she suddenly saw a sharp, tooth-like rock jutting out. She dropped, saving her eye, but screaming in pain as the rock dug into the side of her skull.

Ruchi screamed, a haunting cry of pain echoed through the catacombs.

"Fuck." Ruchi cursed. As she regained consciousness, she realized she must have lain there for at least a day. She smelled her own blood, thick and crusted over her head and face. Something whispered.

Stretch yourself out to the tiny candle.

"Fuck. What?" Ruchi must have hit her head badly. "Is it you, Spider?"

I am the little light.

"Light? The Spider tolerates no such blasphemy. She is Darkness."

I am not the Spider.

"Then I banish you in Loth's name."

The small light was gone now; only darkness remained. Ruchi's head felt better. She massaged her skull and noticed the gaping hole in her head was closed and healed. Only dried blood remained, which she scraped off.

She got up, shaking herself, unable to make any sense of what had happened.

"Fuck."

[Ruchi Vael'kyn]

"Never trust a weird little light in the dark," Ruchi laughed into the forest, kicking a dead bird into the bush.

How fucking stupid I'd been, she thought. Ruchi didn't like the hot afternoon sun, but she did like the joke she had just cracked; kicking some more twigs, she tried to cheer herself up.

Her excursion deep into the catacombs of Elashin had been unusual. It troubled her that she had almost died, yet fully recovered without a good explanation. A weakness, without a solid reason. An odd experience, even for a cleric like her. Wasn't she supposed to have the answers?

She had seen plenty of miracles, even worked some wonders herself. Ruchi couldn't let this lapse get in the way of her and the spider... I'm sorry, spider.

"Fuck, I'll have to go back and go even deeper into the catacombs next time, without making a mess of things. And without piercing my head," Ruchi mused.

Ruchi knew some things couldn't be explained, only experienced and somehow acknowledged. But the origin of the Little Light was so alien to her that it terrified her more than even the spider. How pathetic even the name was.

"I am the Little Light," Ruchi yelled mockingly into the forest. Who cares.

Yet somehow, when the Little Light had spoken to her, the tunnels around Ruchi had gotten bigger and made her, in turn, feel incredibly small herself.

Ruchi whistled quietly, still trying to cheer herself up and trying to walk off this most unusual experience.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ruchi saw a bright white squirrel, its fur the color of bone. In a swift stroke, Ruchi threw her mace at the squirrel, hitting it between its tiny shoulder blades and pinning it to the stump of a tree.

Ruchi barked a dark laugh. Excited, she stepped closer to inspect her trophy and skin the squirrel for its bone-colored fur.

Unexpectedly, something grabbed Ruchi's foot, and she whipped it up, but a little too late. Ruchi realized not only that her foot was caught in a net, but her entire body was wrapped and lifted into the air.

"Fuck!" Ruchi screamed. The net tightened, dug into her dark skin, and lifted Ruchi high into the air as if she were made of feathers. The net contained thorns and was tied to a branch, which belonged to a tree, which was tied, probably by a ulruthuul rivvii (damned human), through some kind of odd kinetic sorcery.

Like a taunting, invisible hand, the thorned net kept her snug like a wine-grape in the press.
Ruchi tried to reach her mace, but the net was too tight. The thorns caused her to bleed, and worse, Ruchi feared they carried poison.

"Spider! I call to you!"

Rel Sanct.

Nothing happened.

Rel Sanct.

Again, nothing.

A horrible cackle erupted inside Ruchi's head: Never trust her weird little light in the dark again. The dark is for spiders.

"Her? Fool! Ulu’uss (Damnation)! I didn't even know she was a her!" Ruchi cursed back. She was in enough pain to be defiant, no matter the cost. Tears started streaming from her blood-constricted, ashen face.

I will tear and rip you, like the iblith you are, the cackling continued.

"Fuck's sake! I always have the worst luck with you!" Ruchi had had enough of lights and spiders alike, for that matter. She felt dizzy, and worse, her breathing became shallow.

[Ruchi Vael'kyn]

The tree branches stretched into the night like dark messengers, atrophied claws of death. Ruchi kept one eye open, clinging to consciousness as if her life depended on it.

One eye, tear-filled, moved slowly, tracing her desperate thoughts and prayers. The other was swollen shut. Sweat drenched her body, leaving her a glistening mess, and a fever chill made her shiver violently.

Her lungs made a sickly wheezing noise, and with each passing moment, the net dug deeper into her dark skin, which now looked largely ashen and bloodless.

It was night, and the forest spun in front of Ruchi's one open eye. The whistle hiss of her lungs was the only sound she could hear. Then, Ruchi seemed to make out light footsteps walking over the fallen leaves and twigs.

A small, lightly flickering flame became visible, clearly getting closer: a thin candle, carried by someone.
Ruchi forced her swollen eye open, and she felt the net pulling tighter.

A cackle erupted in her head: "Betray me now, and I will kill both you and your sister."
The figure walked closer, and Ruchi thought about the spider’s recent threat. The ramifications couldn't be any more disastrous. She thought about Ruchida, her sister. They had become increasingly estranged ever since Ruchi had become a cleric. And yet, Ruchi was not ready to give up her gifts.. or was she?

The net was unbearably tight now, so Ruchi drew what she thought was her last breath. The mention of her sister, though, had moved something inside her.

The approaching figure was tall yet slender, strong yet graceful. Her silver hair, weavy and curly in the night air, was the longest Ruchi had ever seen. She didn't look like the darkelves Ruchi had known.

She did hold a small candle in her hand. Ruchi's eyes widened with pain. The figure sat down and looked at Ruchi through vibrant silver eyes, without speaking a word.

"Are you going to let me down? You're missing some clothes," Ruchi rasped. Very slowly, air began to move into her lungs. She tried to make the best of it, despite being nearly dead.

The figure didn't move, but her silver eyes penetrated Ruchi.

"Fuck, you're just staring at me."

"I don't impose myself, I am simply here."

Ruchi had to admit, her voice sounded harmonic, crisp, and almost sweet.

"You haven't answered her yet, as you would call her, the spider."

Ruchi thought about this. She realized she was a bad luck charm and deserved exactly her kind of darkness. The spider was... somehow Ruchi. Self-loathing filled Ruchi, and tears welled up in her swollen eye again.

"Fuck you, spider," Ruchi choked out.

The figure smiled, but didn't speak. Silver eyes gazed into Ruchi's.

"Why are you smiling?" Ruchi was caught off guard now, fully prepared to die finally. She just wanted to rest. Forever.

"Stretch yourself out to the Little Light." Her voice was melodic. Ruchi's eyes widened again.

"You... are the Little Light?"

"I have many names. Many call me Elistraee. But I like the name you gave me. You can call me the Little Light."

Something stirred inside Ruchi. She wanted nothing but to be close to the Little Light. And more. She longed for her, strangely. Suddenly, the net became slack, and Ruchi started falling. almost as if in answer to her desire.

Ruchi fell with grace; even more, her wounds were healing as she fell, the closer she got to the Little Light. Like a cat, Ruchi turned mid-air and landed softly.

"Make a fire, Ruchi, and then let's dance," she spoke, her crisp voice charming Ruchi, who started to move quickly.
Ruchi shot a flame into a dead tree stump.

In Por Ylem.

And to her surprise, the flame burst out of her fingers, strong and vibrant, an echo of the life force she felt coursing through her in this space.

Soon, they were dancing, the moon over their heads, silver light shining brightly and mysteriously through the trees. Ruchi didn't know she could dance. She probably couldn't. But she kind of liked it... Almost, she felt as if she was one with her. Through her, with her, and in her.

When the morning sun rose, Ruchi walked back to her kin. Confused, unsure, and deeply conflicted.

But she had to admit, "Fuck, that was amazing."

[Ruchi Vael'kyn]

Ruchi was back in Elashin, had barely made it into her room, and let herself sink into the wooden chair made from blackwood. Her sister flinched when she saw her.

"Ruchi, you look like hell. Worse than usual."

"Ah, so we match. I do feel like hell. I was trapped. Caught in a net. Ulruthuul rivvii (damned humans)."

"You were what? Ruchi, what are you doing in the forests? You have to tell the Ilharess."

"Oh fuck, just let me sleep a few hours. I will report to her later."

"You can thank Loth you're still alive, Ruchi, the spider saved you. I will report to her on your behalf. Sleep now, nobody wants to see your ugly ass like this. You look ugly when you're tired, Ruchi. "

"Uhm, yes, the spider."

Ruchi instantly fell asleep, still sitting, without changing her dirtied and torn clothes.

Sleep worked wonders. When she woke up, Ruchi immediately made herself mushroom tea. The expensive, exotic one. Having escaped her own demise through some odd, chaotic combination of circumstances, Ruchi's perspective had shifted. And perhaps more than that.

"Screw frugalness. I will savor the moment. Pleasure is for the present," Ruchi thought with a crooked smile.

As the steam rose into her nostrils, the expensive fungi infused Ruchi with a tickling alertness, and she let out a sigh. It was a bitter brew, exactly how she liked it. She could sit and stay like this for days, she thought.

Ruchi cracked her knuckles and then relaxed back into her chair. She stared at the walls and allowed her thoughts to flow. After the first cup, she brewed another. All that tea made her go to the pit a few times to relieve herself, right next to the slave quarters. But each time she returned to her room, Ruchi picked up the kettle again and started a new brew.

Ruchi preferred mushroom tea scalding hot; her sister had deemed her a masochist. She wasn't sure if she was indeed a masochist, but she admitted that she liked tea close to boiling.

Ruchi felt her heart quicken and briefly touched her head, where there had been a gaping hole only a few days ago. Her stream of consciousness reflected her recent experiences with the Little Light back to her.

"Fuck, what do I do now?"

Ruchi didn't know. But she liked this cup of mushroom tea. She sank back into her chair. And with that, Ruchi licked her lips and repeated the words she had just whispered, with a crooked smirk forming on her lips.

"Pleasure is for the present."